Not All Together

Tomorrow I turn 30 years old. I can’t believe it. I don’t think it has quite sunk in. Thirty. That’s so very, very…grown up.

In my reflective (and yes, hormonal…thank you, pregnancy) state, I have been thinking back this week to some of the best days of my first 30 years. This has been a fun little treat for me and a positive way to enter a new, big number. I thought I would share…

Days at Camp Gago (Grandparents and Grandchildren Only), a “camp” run by my grandparents for my cousins and me during the summer at a rented lake house. So much swimming, plenty of playmates, and sugar cereals!!! A kid’s dream. Yes, I was the only girl for a long time. That’s me ruining the pic with bunny ears.

Friday night football games on the dance team. Never another time like that. So much fun and freedom at 17 with so little real responsibility. Me with my best friend, Amy.

Senior prom. I felt so pretty in my dress, and I thought I was such a grown-up.

My high school graduation. I literally could not stop smiling.

Summer of 2000 at Ridge Haven. The mountains, new friends, adventures in rock climbing, ropes courses, and white-water rafting. I came back a different person.

The night Ande proposed to me on my parent’s dock. Such a wonderful, complete surprise…hence my wearing pajamas!

Our wedding day. Nerves and excitement rolled up together. A sunny but cold December day. Driving off thinking, “I can’t believe this just happened!”

A day spent kayaking in the sun at Wekiva Springs with Ande. Minus the fight we had at the beginning of the day over our super heavy kayaks and the long walk to the water, just a perfect day.

Ande’s graduation from seminary. I was so proud of him that I thought my heart would burst. This meant more to me than my own graduate school graduation. I felt like this was our degree, since we started dating weeks before he started seminary. It was a long time coming.

First night in our new (current) house after months of renovating. I could not have been more excited.

These next three pictures go together and involve the vacation Ande and I took right before we decided to become parents. It was the best trip of my life: just me and Ande, a loose agenda, and several amazing B&Bs through Massachusetts and Maine. Sigh…

In Freeport, ME. So in love with my husband.

The best food I have ever eaten. We ate there four days in a row, even extended our trip one more day because we were enjoying the food/town so much.

World’s cutest little room at our B&B in Southwest Harbor, ME.

In fact, it was on that trip that the switch was made for me somehow, and I decided (after years of putting it off), that I really wanted to become a mom.

The day I finally met my Owen.

Owen’s first birthday. This was a “we did it!” party, for me and Ande as much as for Owen. The first year of parenthood was just amazing.

First day in Ireland. So exciting. A truly beautiful day. I think all of Dublin was outside enjoying the sunshine.

Seeing U2 with Ande in Dublin. And feeling pretty sure I was pregnant again. So glad our precious babe came along with us to that concert. One of the sweetest things about sweet pea’s short life was that I got to share this night.

Random, beautiful beach day where we watched Owen really enjoy the beach. Bathing suit bottoms full of sand. Happy hearts.

Seeing O Toodles moving and kicking and growing right on track. Can’t wait to meet him/her.

Dinner with Ande last week at Circa 1922 in Wilmington, NC. Words cannot express how delicious that food was, and sharing it with my husband was even better. No picture…we forgot about the camera once we started eating!

Reflecting on the sweet days behind me makes me feel blessed and ready for my thirties. And these are just SOME of the best days so far. I’m looking forward to many more best days to come.

It is finished….mostly.

One of the last house renovation projects hanging gloomily over our heads was the fireplace. We did the demolition nearly three years ago, leaving a good-sized hole in the wall, complete with exposed insulation. Since we were out of steam and out of renovation budget after redoing every single surface in the house, it had to stay that way. Interestingly, you get used to a hole in the wall.

But now, minus grout, it is finished.
My husband, who can do anything, did the tile work then built and painted the whole thing in one afternoon. Impressive. And I love it.
Still looking for the right accessories to add to the mantle, but had to brag on Ande’s work now.

Before:

After:

Did I mention I LOVE it!?!?

This morning Ande, Owen, and I were able to see our newest family member again via ultrasound. He/she was flipping around all over the place, which this mommy thought was just adorable. Ande was impressed by how big the baby was and by how long the little legs seemed. Our babe is currently the size of a large peach.

Funny, this time around just seems to be going faster than Owen’s pregnancy did, most likely because every day with a toddler just seems to fly by.

This was Owen’s first time to the little (and I mean little) ultrasound room, and I wondered how he would do in that crowded, possibly boring to him, space. He did great, watching the big screen for the baby the way he watches Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

Speaking of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, it was Owen who named this babe. Several weeks back I asked him what we should call the baby. His back was to me. He heard the question, turned, and smiled with eyebrows raised in delight: “O Toodles!!!” he said, laughing. He knew it was funny. He knew HE was funny. It stuck. O Toodles it is.

Ladies and gentlemen, our most recent picture of our little O Toodles:

For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about with the O Toodles reference, tune in to the Disney Channel for some good old-fashioned Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. You’ll have silly songs stuck in your head in no time.

For those of you concerned by our name choice, don’t worry. Actual girl name decided, and boy name being narrowed down.

The most important good news of the day:
I am off of my pregnancy restrictions!!!
My doctor’s appointment went well, and we were able to hear the heartbeat beating perfectly. The restrictions were necessary for two weeks after the symptoms stopped. My two weeks were up yesterday. The doctor says I am fine to pick up Owen, exercise, etc. but to use common sense.
Owen and I celebrated by taking a trip to Target alone, something we haven’t been able to do for 4 weeks or so.

Many thanks for all the prayers on our behalf. Though my optimism wavered a good bit throughout the restrictions period, I was always encouraged to know we were being prayed for. Specifically recalling recent answered prayer for some of our good friends was helpful, too: it reminded me that when God’s people pray, He answers. I really believe God used your prayers to sustain the life of this baby.

Other good news items of the day:
- Owen alert me to the fact that he needed to “go” while I was driving to a Target in a nearby town: 15-20 minutes away still when he told me. I asked him to hold it, saying we would go when we got to Target, in Target’s potty. For the rest of the drive there, he repeated over and over “go peepee. go peepee at Target. Mommy help. peepee at Target.” The urgency was growing.
I expected the worst when we got there, only to find…a dry diaper and a little boy who truly had waited. Very, very encouraging.
Not that we aren’t without accidents (poop in the toy basket, anyone?), but he is doing great as we try and navigate the adventures in potty training.

- I have a helper to trudge through the tasks of daily living with me. Check out Ande’s post from yesterday for a video of my helper in action.

Finally, what happens on Fridays when I go to work:
I am often asked where Owen goes when I am at work. We have a fantastic schedule where Ande watches Owen on Fridays, since that is Ande’s day off. They do boy stuff, get dirty, fix things. Ande often takes Owen disc-golfing, which Owen LOVES. Here are a couple pictures from Friday’s adventure disc-golfing with some of Ande’s students. When asked “what did you do today?”, Owen answered “Disc golf. I throw.” Then he threw an imaginary disc. Good shot, too.

It has been quiet around notalltogether. Partly because there is a baby in my belly, causing the expected “morning” sickness in the afternoons and late, late into the night. And partly because I have been dealing with some pregnancy complications that have me wavering between peace and fear.

My doctor informed me about two weeks ago that I have a blood clot between my uterus and the gestational sac, which could potentially terminate the pregnancy. Strict orders of no picking up heavy things (Owen), no exercise, and even no pushing heavy things (again, Owen) in the stroller until the issue resolves.

What does this mean for a mostly stay-at-home mommy? Well, it means I can’t put Owen into or get him out of his crib. No lifting him into his highchair. No bathing my child. No putting him in his carseat…thus no going anywhere, just the two of us. I need another adult with me to help us live our lives. Is it worth it? Yes. Is it hard? Ummm, yes. My mother-in-law came and helped us this week (hallelujah!!). And at work today, I had lots of help pushing my patients around the facility (as adults in wheelchairs are heavier than my 30-pound kiddo).

I am praying and hopeful that my body has turned a corner in the fight against the blood clot, but it is still a wait-and-see situation. We would love your prayers (and your continued prayers for those who have been praying with us already).

On a related note, we do not have a nickname for this baby yet. Owen was Sweet Baby J from the beginning, but I am coming up short this time around. Suggestions welcome!

Ande’s on bath duty for now. Here’s the proof that with a jet-powered tub (at my parents’), a little bit of bubbles goes a long way.

Wagon time with Grandma. Ride to the mailbox, then kick back and read the mail

I am thrilled to say we are pregnant again and due in August. This week we saw the beautiful sight of a jellybean on a screen with a tiny, fast-beating heart. My own heart couldn’t contain itself, and tears of joy spilled down my face.

God has been answering my prayer for joy for this pregnancy after the loss of the last one. I hated (and even felt a little guilty) that my first reaction to the digital read-out of “pregnant” was “YAY!…oh NO!!”, but fear just took over. I literally had to hit my knees in prayer before I left the bathroom. I am so grateful to say He has been replacing my fear with excitement. I really am excited!!

As for our little 20-month old smartie, he can answer a new question:
“What’s in mommy’s belly?” we ask.
“A baby,” he replies.
Seriously, the fact that we told him ONCE that mommy has a baby in her belly and he knew it immediately reminds me that we definitely have to watch what we say in front of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly, he retains…and can verbalize.

As is tradition, I am sharing my “just saw the positive test” picture.

My plan for Owen to give the test to Ande was a fail: Owen, hungry for breakfast, would not cooperate. I ended up tossing the test to Ande with a quick “we’re pregnant” kiss before heading to the kitchen to feed our hungry, gripey toddler.
Sweet nonetheless.

A few weeks back, we unfortunately learned that Owen was now tall enough to reach things on the kitchen counter.

What did he grab?
Tobasco sauce.

What did he do next?
He touched his face and eyes.

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!!!! My poor baby.

Since then, Owen is the first to tell us about the dangers of Tabasco. Ande uses it nearly everyday, so nearly everyday when Owen sees the bottle we hear some version of this from our little boy:

“No, no, no…Hot. Hot. Boo boo. Eye.”

I don’t think he’ll make that mistake again…ever.
And we won’t make the mistake again of leaving such things on the counter.

Lesson learned all the way around.

Just a few shots of my attempts to transform our home into one of Christmas merriment. I liked transforming things before becoming a mommy, but having Owen has taken holidays up a level, as we’re making memories and traditions here.

our dining area

around the house

Our nativity set, in “clings-to-windows” form, at just the right height for little eyes

Ande put up icicle lights outside for Owen, and he LOVES it, often saying “pretty!” about the lights, followed by “daddy….DADDY!” because we talk about how his daddy put them up for him. The nativity brings lots of smiles and the naming of animals in a cute toddler voice.

Notice there was no tree. This is the FIRST year in our married life that we have not gotten a tree. We usually are at the tree lot as soon as we return from Thanksgiving, getting the biggest tree we can get for our budget. I LOVE a big, real tree. This year, for a couple reasons, no big, real tree. No tree at all. I said I was okay with it, but I was kinda bummed. UNTIL an anniversary surprise from my husband showed up: a LED pre-lit tabletop artificial tree in a beautiful urn. Perfect!!! I was so excited, decorating it quickly with red ribbon left over from our wedding seven years ago to the day. Picture to come…

Yay!!! We have a wooden kitchen for Owen for Christmas! This adorable little blue one, BRAND NEW in the box!

Megan found it for me today at her TJ Maxx for $59.99. Perfect!

Thanks, Megan!! Good work!

Honestly, this is an answer to prayer. God has heard me mention wooden kitchens for quite some time, knowing our limited budget and being prepared to wait until after Christmas to find it…and expecting to get it used. Though it could seem petty in the grand scheme of things, I know God is showing me how He loves to delight in His children by providing this kitchen for us. Interestingly, I read this today before I got Megan’s call. From the mouth of Jesus:
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him?” Matthew 7:7-11

Feeling very loved today…